darrenstummy:

the more sexual and inappropriate you are with me the better we’ll get along

everywitchwaycast:

When I hear my somebody say my name on the phone.

everywitchwaycast:

When I hear my somebody say my name on the phone.

imthecooliest2:

When a guy finally talks to me..

imthecooliest2:

When a guy finally talks to me..

hadamsj:

When you get caught sneaking into your bae’s house.

lameborghini:

life hack: be nice to people with a pool at their house

virginsacrificer:

"do u want the rest of my food"

image

"here u can have them"

image

richwhitelesbian:

wizcoylifa:

fifty shades (thats it. thats the whole joke. im wearing 50 pairs of sunglasses right now this is comedy gold people)

“ya but how many chainz” i holler from the back of the crowd. suddenly its my show and your girlfriend is on my arm now. shes also a man and your gay

lanashiftdelrey:

coming out of your room at 3 am and seeing your parents

image

gnarly:

*snapchats and texts the same person at the same time*

lindsaylohoean:

all the people around me are falling in love and im just here falling asleep

100% sure im ugly as hell and yet I still expect to be in a relationship with a hot person

cokeflow:

I envy literally everyone who is talented at anything